Logic Is Like Coronovirus

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SCENE: Mitch BERG is watiing in line at his favorite barbeque joint when Aaron ROSTON, writer at the (possibly fictional) progressive blog “MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com“, walks into the store and gets into line behind BERG. ROSTON is a crossing guard at a school in rural southern Minnesota, and is a bullying activist – mostly focusing on promoting bullying of children of conservatives.

ROSTON notices BERG, despite BERG’s best efforts.


BERG: Uh, hi, Eric…


BERG: Sorry. Mistook you for someone else.

ROSTON: (not waiting for BERG to finish his sentence) Minnesotans are moving out of state because they’re racists. The Center of the American Experiment is basically the Klan Robe crowd for pointing it out.

BERG: “Klan Robe Crowd”, huh?

ROSTON: Yep. That’s the only reason to leave Minnesota. Racism.

BERG: Right. Not schools that are collapsing, a hostile business and tax environment, stagnant economy outside the metro because the economy is being hobbled by taxes, regulation and the stranglehold of one party on the bureaucracy, spiking urban crime, totaly bonkers transportation and energy policy, and a cold, tax-hostile place to retire?

ROSTON: Come on. You’re better than that!

BERG: What does that mean?

ROSTON: You know the roots of conservatism are entirely in racism.

BERG: I know that that’s precisely false in regards to modern, post Sharon Declaration conservatism.

ROSTON: You know you’re wrong.

BERG: Er, I know you’re gaslighting.

ROSTON: It’s true. Full stop.

BERG: “Full stop?” What is this, freshman comp class?

ROSTON: Experts the world over agree.

BERG: Name them.

ROSTON: It’s’ not my job to do your research for you.

BERG: There is noi “research”. Name just one of these “experts”.

ROSTON: It would blow your mind if I did.

BERG: You are right in more ways than one. (Looks over ROSTON’s shoulder). Hey, look, Eric…


BERG: …sorry, Aaron. Look – a six year old with a red cap that looks like a Trump cap!

ROSTON: (Spins around and looks in vain. But BERG uses the opportunity to make good his escape).


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