Thoroughly Modern

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SCENE: Mitch BERG is waiting for the train at University and Hamline.

Suddenly, a group of 20 through 60-something women with protest signs and pink “feline” caps rushes across the street, waving signs and chanting chants. One of them is Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK, a twenty-something graduate of Saint Olaf, and of Camp Wellstone. She works as a telemarketer for “Minnesotans United for All Progressive Causes”.

She notices BERG.

BIRKENSTOCK (Loudly, aggressively): Merg!

BERG: Um, hi, Moonbeam…

BIRKENSTOCK: Women are strong! We are invincible! A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle! We will eclipse masculinity! We will smash the patriarchy!

BERG: Huh. So women who make any sort of claim of abuse…

BIRKENSTOCK: Must be believed without question or reservation!

BERG: Huh. You don’t think that’s already a big contradic…

(But BIRKENSTOCK has already run down the platform, joining a mob stomping on a roll of MEN-tos.

BERG: Huh.


A Rhode Island state “gun violence task force”has released its recommendations for what to “do” about “gun violence“:

Sounds familiar?

They include: a ban on ammunition feeding devices — known as magazines — with a capacity of more than 10 rounds, prohibiting the concealed carry of firearms on school grounds and within 1,000 feet of elementary or secondary schools and in government buildings, and raising the age to buy a “long gun” from 18 to 21, where it already stands for handguns.

The group stopped short, however, of backing a ban on military-style assault weapons

, opting to call instead for a new requirement that they be registered with a state or local law enforcement agency.

Isn’t it strange? No matter how many “panels of experts” the ass, the recommendations always come back around to “squat on the law abiding citizen, and do nothing that would ever address violent crime?”

Susan Rice has been gratified by the response to her trial balloon about running for the Senate:

So much so that she had to be replaced by former Secretary of State Rice.