Nice ‘n’ Neat — Conclusion

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Brett Kavanaugh is on the Supreme Court and will be hearing cases tomorrow. We all have a sense of how he got there, but to put a cap on this particular saga, I want to revisit why his accuser's story never made any sense to me. I don't know that I'll ever be able to prove any of these suppositions, but I make them because they are the only way I can figure out what happened.

  • I'm almost certain the event never happened. No one remembers it happening, including all of the witnesses Christine Blasey Ford identified. That, in and of itself, is reason enough to doubt it.
  • Ford's friend, Leland Keyser, does not know Brett Kavanaugh. That makes sense, because she's two years younger than Kavanaugh.
  • If you remember your high school years, and nearly everyone does, do you remember attending parties, or even informal gatherings, where the girls are two years younger than the guys? In general, you would hang out with kids in your own graduating class. Some girls pursued upperclassmen, but in general that interest was reciprocated only if the girls were, well, hot. We knew who the attractive girls were in the younger classes, but we were focused on the girls in our own class. I think that's the same dynamic just about everywhere.
  • It's difficult to find pictures of Christine Blasey Ford from that era, because most of the information about her life was somehow scrubbed from the internet before her emergence, which in itself was an interesting development. But from the few pictures I've seen, young Christine Blasey was not the sort of girl that would turn the heads of Kavanaugh and his pals. Her friend Keyser was more attractive, but she didn't know Kavanaugh, so it strikes me as implausible.
  • It's been reported that young Christine Blasey was dating Kavanaugh's friend, Christopher "Squi" Garrett. As far as I know, no one has independently confirmed that relationship actually happened, including, crucially, Garrett himself. And considering Garrett was prominently mentioned by conservative operative Ed Whelan, he'd have reason to speak on the matter. And he's said nothing publicly. The FBI did talk to Garrett, but we're not likely to find out what he said to them.
  • The date that Sheldon "Clouseau" Whitehouse and his pals settled on, July 1, 1982, was a Thursday. The next two days, Kavanaugh's calendar says he went to the beach with Garrett. Does it seem likely that, had Kavanaugh attempted something sexual with Ford, that Garrett would have hung out with Kavanaugh immediately thereafter, especially if Garrett and Ford were really dating? Here's the calendar:
A very important date

Setting aside all the political arguments, the story never made any sense to me. But after 36 years, there's nothing nice 'n' neat about it.