The “Pie in the Sky” City

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"Those of us on the outer fringes of the city will do just fine, thank you. We have all the services we need right here, and we can drive to use them."

Many times I have been asked over the past few years, "Bird! Why are you so hard on the fair City of Minneapolis? You have lived in, or close to it most all of you life, have you not?" Yes, yes I have. And that is exactly why I am so hard on this City of Lakes. When I was young, and living only feet from the Minneapolis city limits, this city had purpose. It was normal. It was a great place to live and or visit. And then somewhere, sometime, during the past 50 years or so, it fell off the turnip truck. Now it is truly, the land of the lost.
Great article in the "fish wrap" Sunday paper today. Now that Thrive 2040 has gone from a Met Council clandestine document, to an all out planning instrument for the Minneapolis City Council, for many it has become an OMG moment. The article in the paper discloses what many have suspected for some time now. Minneapolis wants to be a "car free" city. And for the folks who live there - plenty of options. You can walk, ride your bike, or take a choo-choo, or just go without. Good times, good times!
This is nothing but a "pie in the sky" vision. It is "la-la" land. It comes straight out of the of the "never going to happen" playbook. This is not the town that Dr. Marcus Welby practiced medicine in. Or the town Andy of Mayberry was the Police Chief in. No, this is a town which does NOT have affordable grocery shopping on every corner. Does NOT have a doctor or vet for the pooch on every corner. This is town situated on the 45th parallel with weather ranging from 100 degrees in the summer to 25 below in January. To say that no automobile transportation is needed anywhere in town is, well, just plain nutty.
And I can say it is nutty, because if you have ever seen the Minneapolis City Council in session, more than half of them act like they are off their rocker. Their nuttiness however, is only eclipsed by the unelected, unaccountable Metropolitan Council. Seriously - these two councils put together look and act like the starring cast from One Few Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
Another article in the paper which is related to this topic talked about the last of the open parking lots on Washington Avenue being torn up and replaced with some kind of buildings. This is the future. After a butt ugly commute into downtown Minneapolis, good luck finding a place to park. And if you do, it will be in an over crowded ramp, costing as much as $20 for the day. Minneapolis has become a destination which I HATE to go to. For any reason.
So, good luck city dwellers. As you get closer and closer to 2040, this is only going to get worse. The nut balls in charge will have you so tied up in knots, your city will be un-workable and un-livable. But don't worry about us. Those living in the outer fringes of the city will do just fine, thank you. We have all the services we need right here, and we can drive to get to them.
One final thing. We don't do "pie in the sky" out here. We are stepped in reality. Rather than living a "pie in the sky" dystopian lifestyle, we like our pie sitting on on our diner table. We like our pie for desert, following a meal consisting of tasty and affordable groceries bought in stores we drove to. That is the American dream we still recognize out here. And that dream is as American as apple pie.